Turnitin / MLA / Assessment Literary Analysis Turnitin.com information MLA format details [.html] [.pdf] Analytical paragraph OUTLINE [download pdf]
Dependent modifiers / Cumulative sentences Dependent modifiers you should know [.pdf]
Short literary analysis revision checklist Notes about the function of dependent modifiers Components of an analytical essay Topic sentence (components, characteristics, etc.)
Grammar / Usage Resources
Online grammar guides Miscellaneous Description / Creative Writing Passage analysis (explanation, rubric, examples) Passage analysis OUTLINE example (for AQ) Personal essay revision checklist 2010 Sophomore Writing Assessment results
The scores:
0 papers received a 6
26 papers received a 5
70 papers received a 4
70 papers received a 3
14 papers received a 2
0 papers received a 1Timed writing takes practice! You will have more experience with it junior year and more opportunities to gain confidence in your skills.
What the scores mean:
6—Establishes and maintains sharp thesis and focus; mature insight; excellent development of evidence and analysis; sophisticated organization and language control
5—Establishes and maintains strong thesis; thoughtful insight; strong development of evidence and analysis good organization and language control
4—Establishes thesis or claim; adequate insight adequate development of evidence and analysis; adequate organization and language control
3—Makes a vague or unfocused claim or may not address the prompt completely or directly; may focus more on summarizing examples than analyzing them; limited development of evidence and analysis; inadequate organization and/or language control
2—Does not establish a clear claim; misreads or misinterprets the piece or does not address the prompt at all; uses inappropriate evidence or examples; repeated and persistent errors in mechanics, spelling, punctuation or sentence structure
1—Does not address prompt.
All Quiet on the Western Front sample essays
Notice that the writer of essay 1 does a really good job of weaving evidence and analysis. The writer of essay 2 does a good job discussing the connotation of word choices.Sample Essay 1
An Ironic Survival
In chapter six of All Quiet on the Western Front, Erich Maria Remarque demonstrates how the atrocities of war force men to abandon their humanity in favor of the animal instinct they need to continue fighting. At the opening of the scene, Paul is making his way through the grisly battlefield when he is bombarded by the gruesome images that surround him. He frenetically looks around him; to his right, “a lance-corporal has his head torn off ” (115) and, to
his left, a recruit runs by just as “a spade cleaves through his face” (116). Paul is so disturbed by such images that he becomes overwhelmed with fear and begins to think that “Death is hunting [him] down” (115) like an animal. Terrified, Paul and his men frantically search for a way to escape the violence that traps them in a constant state of “fear and madness” (114). When they are unable to distance themselves from the violence, however, the men begin to question their part in it. They are witness to mercilessness of the enemy soldiers, but they, too, have obliterated the enemy lines with artillery, suffocated the French with poison gas, and left the mangled remains of bodies to be buried by shellfire. Fearing that they may have contributed to the horrors of the war, the men soon become desperate to differentiate themselves from the enemy. Paul’s comrades convince themselves that they “do not fight, [they] defend [themselves] against annihilation” (112). This “kill to survive” mentality makes the soldiers feel that they are
justified in replicating the predator-prey relationships found in nature. Despite their efforts to rationalize the violence, however, the rampant emotions evoked by battle prove to be such a mental strain that the men reach the brink of insanity. In an attempt to stifle their consciences enough to regain their will to fight, the soldiers become “insensible dead men” (116). They hope that, by suppressing their emotions, they will no longer have to feel the burdens of war. Without their strong personalities to guide them, though, Paul and his comrades become powerless to stop their animal instincts from overtaking them completely. The soldiers, no longer in control of their actions, still feel the burden of death, however. Desperate for something to repair their “pierced and shattered souls” (115), the men try to disconnect themselves even further by creating entirely new personas. They allow themselves to become consumed by a rage “that fills [them] with ferocity, turns [them] into thugs, into murderers, into God only knows what devils” (114). Finally, what little individuality the soldiers have retained is obliterated, leaving their
alter egos to rampage the battlefield. For the first time, Paul realizes that, in the absurdity of war, he has destroyed himself in order to save a now empty, meaningless body. The real irony of the war, however, is that, “through some trick, some dreadful magic” (116), the soldiers, who have coped with the violence by reducing themselves to nothing more than mindless automata, “are still able to run and to kill” (116).Sample Essay 2
Passage Analysis
“The parachute lights soar upwards—and I see a picture, a summer evening, I am in the
cathedral cloister and I look at the tall rose trees that bloom in the middle of the cloister
garden where the monks lie buried…no one is there. A great quietness rules in this
blossoming quadrangle…the green cathedral spire ascends into the pale blue sky of the
evening. Between the glowing columns of the cloister is the cool darkness that only
churches have. The image is alarmingly near; it touches me before it dissolves in the
light of the next starshell.” (119)In this passage of All Quiet on the Western Front, Erich Maria Remarque has chosen his words carefully when describing Paul Baumer’s fantasy to show his protagonist’s yearning for peace and growth, while he is unable to completely separate himself from the war.
The author’s choice to use the words “monks lie buried” is very significant. It explains that Paul, after his experience in the war, now sees death as quite banal. Paul includes death even in his daydream; after all he has been through, he cannot imagine a world, even his perfect world, without it. As a soldier, Paul is also desperately searching for meaning in his life after all the horrors he’s seen and searches for absolution in religion (and is even slightly jealous of the dead monks, knowing they are peaceful in death like he can never be). He hopes he can forget all the things he has done in the war and all the things that have been done to him. The buried monks suggest Paul’s search for meaning and his inability to distance himself from death.
Remarque has chosen an abundance of words relating to growth. He chooses words such as “tall rose trees,” “the green cathedral spire ascends,” “blossoming,” and “columns” as part of Paul’s fantasy. Paul is soothed by the thought of green, nature, and growth because he doesn’t know how to grow as a person anymore; he feels as though he’s been lost. Thinking of things growing upwards distresses Paul because he feels like he has nowhere to go but down. He thinks of columns because he is craving something to hold him up so he doesn’t just crumble down. In Paul’s daydream he thinks of nature and things being raised up because he is afraid of what is going to happen to him, and he is especially afraid to find out what will happen to him when the war is over since he no longer knows who he is without it.
Paul longs for stillness, quiet, and rest. Words such as “a summer evening,” “no one is there,” “a great quietness rules,” and “cool darkness” display this. These words illustrate a recurring theme in the book, a change in priorities, where simple things like time alone and silence become luxuries in Paul’s life. After hearing so many explosions, all he longs for is quiet and motionlessness. Because he is constantly surrounded by people (even though they’re his friends) all Paul wants is solitude. In his world of chaos and violence Paul desires only the simple things.
Paul has hoped for many things in his dreams of escaping the war. He creates a scenario with all the things he is now lacking: nature, growth, things going up, solitude, relaxation, and, of course, peace. In the battlefield, Paul attempts to escape by imagining a scene of postwar serenity and tranquility but is unable to totally imagine his life without violence.
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Vignette RUBRIC
Click here to download a pdf of this rubric.
Short literary analysis essay
Evaluation RUBRIC for a short literary analysis essay:
Topic Sentence:
• is an opinion/makes a claim
• is well-worded
• includes novel's title and author
• isn't too broad or too narrow
• is supported by evidence in paragraph
Evidence:
• Strongly & clearly supports topic sentence
• Is adequately introduced (context )
• Is eloquently commented upon & linked to the topic sentence. (Doesn’t expect
quotations to speak for themselves.)
• Cites page numbers, using MLA format
• Uses only key language of quotations, avoiding bulky quotes.
Language & Sentence Construction:
• Uses the present tense
• Avoids “I”
• Uses strong vocabulary, varied word choice
• Uses sentence variety (cumulative sentences)
• Avoids wordiness
• Includes smooth transitions between ideas
Mechanics & Formatting:
• No grammar or spelling errors
• Completely follows MLA format
Clincher
• Summarizes the main argument of the paragraph
• Restates and extends the topic sentence, in a fresh impacting way
Revision checklist:
1. Structure
-Does your essay clearly follow the basic structure?
-Are there smooth transitions between pieces of evidence? (Later in this scene..., Additionally..., Another example of..., Finally..., etc.)
-Do all of the sentences in your essay lead smoothly one to the other?
-Do you end with a “clincher” sentence or two? (clincher = a closing sentence or two that gives a more complex understanding of the original point)2. Focus/ Scope
-Is your essay focused on one argument?
-Is the scope of your argument appropriate? (not too broad or too narrow)3. Evidence
-Do all of your evidence choices relate to and support your topic sentence?
-Is your evidence presented in an effective order? (chronologically, least complex to most complex, etc)
-Is all the language in your quotations analyzed? Have you included too much or too little of the quotation?4. Analysis [Ask these questions about the analysis for EACH piece of evidence.]
-Does your analysis explain the evidence (passage and/or example)?
-Have you discussed specific word choices, images, and/or other literary devices used in the passage?
-Have you interpreted all parts of the passage? Have you done more than merely paraphrase?
-Have you made clear how the evidence supports your topic sentence?
-Has everything in the passage been analyzed?5. Language & Sentence Construction
-Are your sentences clear and concise?
-Is your sentence structure appropriately varied? (long and short; different sentence starters)
-Is your vocabulary precise, clear, and unpretentious? (simple, clear language is better than obscure, inflated language)6. Mechanics
-Have you checked your spelling carefully?
-Is the paragraph in third person? (Get rid of any references to “I” or “You”)
-Is the paragraph in present tense?
-Have you carefully checked your punctuation and usage?7. Formatting
-Is the heading in MLA format?
-Is the entire essay double spaced? one inch margins all around?
-Are passages separated from the text of the essay ONLY if the passage is more than four lines?
-Do separated passages have a two inch margin on the left? regular margin on the right? double spaced?
-Have you identified page numbers for all passages?
-Is your punctuation of quotations and citations correct? (Check MLA format handout - or my website - for details.)Components of a short literary analysis essay:
1. Topic Sentence: Introduce the main point of the essay: the subject and your claim about the subject.
2. Context: Set up the evidence by giving the context (who, what, when, where) of the passage or example that follows.
3. Evidence: Quotation, example, etc, with appropriate citation information. When citing textual evidence, embed the quotation into your analysis and use correct MLA.
4. Analysis: Thoroughly discuss each piece of evidence and explain how it supports the claim in your topic sentence. Your analysis should dig deep! (i.e. disect the language, images, and/or events in the quotations, explain difficult phrasing, interpret images or actions, analyze connotations of word choice...)
5. Repeat steps 2-4, as necessary, when more than one piece of evidence is needed.
6. Sum up with a “clincher”: Close your essay with one or more sentences that wrap up the essay, giving it a sense of completion. Try to answer, “So what? Why is this important?”
Topic Sentences
a) function:
- it introduces the main point of the paragraph/essay
- it gives the paragraph/essay focus
b) components:
-includes the subject and your claim about the subject
-includes title and author of text
c) characteristics:
1) makes a claim (i.e. is analytical) and does not merely state a fact
2) has a scope appropriate to your writing task (i.e. not too broad or too narrow)
3) written clearly
4) may be more than one sentence
Dependent modifiers
Dependent Modifiers You Should Know [click here to download a pdf of this guide]
Notes on the FUNCTION of dependent modifiers
xxxxxmodify = to change, restrict or add to1. present participial phrase – modifies action
xxxxxHolding two acorns in his mouth, Benny climbed up the tree.2. appositive – modifies subject (further identifies subject)
xxxxxBenny, a brown squirrel, climbed up the tree.3. relative clause – modifies subject or object (adds info about subject/object)
xxxxxBenny, who has a friend named Clarence, climbed up the tree.xxxxxBenny climbed up the tree, which swayed in the ferocious wind.
4. absolute – modifies a specific aspect of the indep. clause
xxxxxBenny climbed up the tree, his whiskers trembling.5. adjective phrase – modifies subject (further describes sub.)
xxxxxBrave, quick, and dexterous, Benny climbed up the tree.6. prepositional phrase – modifies action (indicates place, time, or circumstances)
xxxxxAt 2:30 a.m., Benny climbed up the tree.7. subordinate clause – modifies indep. clause (clarifies or gives specifics)
xxxxxAlthough the trunk swayed violently in the wind, Benny climbed up the tree.8. simile – modifies subject or action (by comparison to something else)
xxxxxBenny climbed up the tree, like a monkey.9. parallel phrase – modifies an aspect of indep. clause (expands on)
xxxxxBenny climbed up the tree, jumped from a branch, landed on the window sill, and joined Ms. Hill’s xxxxxclass for their lesson on dependent modifiers.10. resumptive modifier – modifies an aspect of indep. clause (adds specifics)
xxxxxBenny climbed up the tree, the tree outside my window, the tree that sways violently in the wind,
xxxxxthe tree that I fear will crash into my classroom during the next windstorm.
Online grammar guides
I recommend that you go to the Big Dog's Grammar ("• Big Dog") link first. It's an excellent website that explains "the bare bones of grammar" clearly and concisely. It includes interactive quizzes to check your understanding.The Guide to Grammar & Writing ("Guide") website is more in-depth and a bit more complex. It also includes interactive quizzes that will help you check your understanding.
Subjects, verbs, & prepositional phrases
• Big Dog: prepositions
Guide: prepositionsFragments, run-ons, comma-splices
Subject-verb agreement
• Big Dog: subject-verb agreement
Guide: subject-verb agreementPronoun-antecedent agreement
• Big Dog: pronoun-antecedent agreement
Guide: pronoun-antecedent agreement
Dangling modifiers
Misplaced modifiers
Parallelism
Consistency (verb tense, pronouns)
Identifying clauses & phrases
Personal Essay Revision Checklist
The rubric I will use to evaluate your final draft is based on the following criteria:
1. Focus / Belief
•Is your belief communicated clearly at the beginning of your essay? (Does not necessarily need to be the first sentence.)
•Do you explain your belief positively, avoiding preachiness and excessively judgmental statements?
•Does everything in your essay work to illustrate / explain / prove your belief ?2. Supporting Details
•Are there sufficient and varied supporting details that explain your belief? [Dialogue Rhetorical questions Anecdotes Personal stories Examples Statictics]
•Have you included at least one personal story or example?3. Structure
•Are your paragraphs organized logically?
•Do all of the paragraphs in your essay lead smoothly one to the other?
•Do you end with a satisfying “clincher”? (clincher = the closing sentences of an essay that leave the reader with a clear understanding of your thesis)4. Language & Sentence Construction
•Is the tone and style of your essay informal and conversational?
•Are your sentences clear, concise, and fluent?
•Is your sentence structure appropriately varied? (long and short; different sentence starters)
Is your vocabulary precise, clear, and unpretentious? (simple, clear language is better than obscure, inflated language)5. Mechanics
•Have you checked your spelling carefully?
•Is the essay in first person?
•Have you carefully checked your punctuation and usage?6. Formatting
•Is the heading in MLA format? (Check MLA format handout - or my website - for details.)
•Is the entire essay double spaced? one inch margins all around?Revision instructions:
1. As you revise your essay, consider the feedback you got from your peer(s).2. Carefully consider each question on the checklist as you revise and polish your essay. Spend a good amount of time on this. Revision is hard work!
3. The final draft that you turn in next week will be the draft that I grade. If you want additional feedback from me, make an appointment to conference with me at brunch, lunch, tutorial, or after school BEFORE the due date. Bring ALL drafts and this revision checklist to your conference.
4. The final draft is due by Thurs, 11/17 at the latest. You may turn it in as soon as you have finished revising. I’m stretching out the due date to give everyone who wants to, the opportunity to conference with me.
T.I.B. Personal Essay - Final Draft
The final draft of your essay is due whenever you finish it, but by Thurs, 11/17 at the latest.
Please include:
-your typed final draft on top, in MLA format, 300-500 words
-your 2nd and 1st drafts stapled to the back
Passage analysis [Click here to download a PDF file of this assignment.]
When I ask you to do a “passage analysis,” I'd like you to find a significant passage from the chapter(s) assigned and analyze it in depth.Choosing a passage:
• choose a passage that has rich, connotative language, imagery, diction
• about 3-8 sentences long
• you may include an ellipsis (...) to indicate omitted textAnalysis:
• extreme close reading
• comment on every word, image, style element, literary device, pattern, connection, connotation, etc. that you can find
• also, address larger issues such as:
-why passage is significant
-if it foreshadows something
-how it relates to the action or state of mind of character
-its connection to themesTips:
When you analyze a passage, consider the following
- Are there any patterns?
- Are there any contrasts?
- Which images are particularly vivid, unusual or significant?
- What word choices are unusual, poignant, or telling?
- Is there anything notable about the writing style? tone? mood?Rubric
6
(A+)-Unique, insightful, rich analysis shows perception of text's nuances
-Sensitivity to language, imagery, diction, literary devices
-Addresses all parts of the passage thoroughly and connects to larger themes5
(A-)-Thoughtful, deep analysis; includes some solid interpretations and connections
-Some careful close reading examines language, diction, imagery, & other literary devices
-Addresses all parts of the passage thoroughly4
(B)-Makes analytical observations, but some may be obvious or general
-Clear understanding and interpretation of passage, but less thoughtful, original, and/or thorough than 5 or 6
-May include more paraphrase than analysis
-Addresses all parts of the passage3
(C)-Some analysis, but may be mostly general
-Recognizes aspects of basic literary techniques
-More paraphrase or summary than analysis
-Addresses passage superficially OR missed some parts of passage2
(D)-Very little analysis
-Summarizes or paraphrases rather than analyzes/interprets passage
-Undeveloped ideas; superficial comprehension of the passage/text
-Does not address details or themes of passageExamples
Passage #1:
“To no man does the earth mean so much as to the soldier...when he buries his face and his limbs deep in her from the fear of death by shell-fire, then she is his only friend, his brother, his mother; she shelters him and releases him for ten seconds to live, to run, ten seconds of life; receives him again and often for ever....Earth with thy folds, and hollows, and holes, into which a man may fling himself and crouch...O Earth, thou grantest us the great resisting surge of new-won life” (55-56).
Analysis of passage #1:
In this passage, Remarque illustrates the soldiers’ intimate and ironic relationship to the earth during trench warfare. Men must bury themselves in order to stay alive during battle and dig the protective trenches that ironically might become their graves. The soldier develops a relationship with the earth that here is described as even more multi-dimensional than what he has with his fellow soldiers. The earth is “friend,” “brother” and “mother” -- representing all of the important relationships a young man may have had in his life. This complex relationship is described with a mixture of gratitude, reverence and awe. The use of “thy” and “thou” suggests a tone of prayer, a respect for the almost holy power of the earth. This power grants life and redemption through protection and shelter. Then, the soldier is released from “mother earth” in a kind of birth into “new-won life,” only to be swallowed again, perhaps permanently. A further irony that Remarque suggests is that just as the earth protects the soldier, the earth is likewise protected by the soldier. He bravely guards the small piece of no-man’s land from enemy occupation. Remarque implies that when the battle is over, some men will own the earth that protected them, but many will be enveloped in the earth for which they fought.
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Passage #2:
"Albert expresses it: 'The war has ruined us for everything.'
"He is right. We are not youth any longer. We don’t want to take the world by storm. We are fleeing. We fly from ourselves. From our life. We were eighteen and had begun to love life and the world; and we had to shoot it to pieces. The first bomb, the first explosion, burst in our hearts. We are cut off from activity, from striving, from progress. We believe in such things no longer, we believe in the war." (87-88)
Analysis of passage #2:
This passage is a very gloomy portrayal of this generation’s loss of humanity and meaning. Albert’s concise conclusion that they are “ruined” sums up what these young men must have felt. It's interesting that at this point in the war Albert does not blame leaders or politicians or even the enemy for this ruin -- he blames the war. The war is personified as the beast responsible for their ruin.
The short, choppy sentences reflect the men’s lack of interest in moving forward in their lives. There is a sense that there is not enough energy to spare. These men see no reason for “striving” or “progress[ing]” towards something because everything they had been looking forward to has been “[shot] to pieces.” Paul implies that this destruction of their hope was inevitable -- they “had to shoot it to pieces.” The use of “we” at the beginning of seven of the eleven sentences emphasizes the shared experience of emptiness. They are in this desolate condition together
Example of passage analysis OUTLINE
Passage: “To no man does the earth mean so much as to the soldier...when he buries his face and his limbs deep in her from the fear of death by shell-fire, then she is his only friend, his brother, his mother; she shelters him and releases him for ten seconds to live, to run, ten seconds of life; receives him again and often for ever....Earth with thy folds, and hollows, and holes, into which a man may fling himself and crouch...O Earth, thou grantest us the great resisting surge of new-won life” (55-56).I. In this passage from All Quiet on the Western Front, Remarque illustrates the soldiers’ intimate and ironic relationship to the earth during trench warfare.
A. “she is his only friend, his brother, his mother”
1 multi-faceted, intimate relationship
2 mother earth imagery: earth births, protects, releases soldiers who - have become vulnerable and child-like
3 soldier’s ability to have “normal” relationships has been damaged – transfers to earthB. “thy…O Earth, thou grantest us...”
1 tone of prayer and respect suggests faith in Earth’s protection
2 capitalization of Earth = powerful forceC. ironies: bury self in order to live; earth shields soldier as soldier works to guard his country’s part of the earth
1 illustrates the chaos and confusion of warfare
2 uncertainty, role of chance
MLA format
General guidelines:
1. Use size 12 of an easy to read font. (e.g. Times, Helvetica, Palatino, Geneva )
2. Margins = one inch all around.
3. Double space the entire essay (including heading).Heading:
4. The heading should be placed flush with the left margin of the page and should include your name, your teacher’s name, the course name, and the date. (Write date like this: 4 April 2009)Page Numbers:
5. Your last name and the page number should appear in the upper right hand corner, one half inch from the top and flush with the right margin of EACH page of your paper.Title/First Sentence:
6. The title appears on the first page of the paper, one return (2 spaces) below the heading, centered, with no quotation marks, underlining, or bold face type.7. The first sentence of your essay begins one return (two spaces) below the title (no more!) and indented five spaces from the left margin.
SHORT Quotation Citation:
A short quotation is... fewer than 4 lines of prose OR fewer than 3 lines of poetry8. To cite short quotations:
a) enclose the quotation within quotation marks
b) in parentheses, indicate the author’s last name & the page number (called the "parenthetical citation")
c) the period appears after the parenthetical citation
The wolf’s disguise represents the hidden darkness in man’s heart: "The wolf’s dark fur seemed to cast a shadow from beneath Grandmother’s white lacy cap and nightgown” (Grimm 42). d) question marks and exclamation points appear within the quotation marks if they are a part of the quoted passage but after the parenthetical citation if they are a part of your own text.
•In the climactic scene, Little Red Riding Hood exclaims, "What big teeth you have!" (Grimm 43).
•In the climactic scene, LRRH asks, "Did you get a new set of dentures, Grandma?" (Grimm 43).
•Wouldn’t LRRH have been suspicious when she exclaimed, "What big teeth you have" (Grimm 43)?LONG Quotation Citation:
A long quotation is... 4 or more lines of prose OR 3 or more lines of poetry9. To cite long quotations:
a) start the quotation on a new line, indented one inch from the left margin
b) do not enclose quotation in quotation marks
c) maintain double-spacing
d) parenthetical citation should come after the closing punctuation mark
